Yes. You’ve heard it before. If not from me than another editor, reader, or even fellow writer. But why does everyone say it? What does it even really mean? Is it good advice or just a load of BS?
Let’s dig in.
Remember back in school when you had to stand in front of the class and tell them how you spent your summer? (I may be dating myself here) You might have searched throughout your house for a fascinating object to impress your classmates and earn their envy and admiration. This was probably your first experience with Show and Tell.
How does this relate to your writing?
Imagine your reading audience has something in common with those bored third graders. You can safely guess that they’ll have lost interest in direct proportion to the amount of time you spent telling, reporting and relating instead of giving them a direct experience that tickles the senses.
Showing is a Direct Sensory Experience
This is what it all boils down to. You want to give your readers the most direct and straightforward experience you can. It’s actually quite simple. The more you get in the way of delivering that experience with unnecessary words that take the reader out of the story, the more you’re telling instead of showing. Telling denies your reader the story experience and merely reports events to them instead.
Here are some examples of how you can spot telling in your writing. These are from real edits. I did change up the names and locations to protect the guilty parties.
What he/she felt, heard, saw, noticed, etc.
If your reader can experience what a character feels, sees, hears, or notices. Don’t point it out to the reader. Allow them to get inside the characters head and experience it as it happens. When you take a step back to report, not only are you telling, you’re missing a huge opportunity to engage your readers emotions.
Telling: He saw a sliver of sunlight above the clouds.
Showing: Sunlight peeked over the clouds.
Telling: He knew Audrey was lying through her teeth.
Showing: Audrey lied through her teeth.
Never tell the reader what the character felt, heard, saw, or noticed. Show them what they saw by having the character experience it directly. When the character experiences it, so will the reader. The reader can only see and experience what happens. Don’t tell them what didn’t happen.
Telling: Jeff didn’t hesitate, but jumped off the ledge.
Showing: Jeff jumped off the ledge.
Telling: Laura tried to stand up.
Showing: Laura lifted herself to one knee, then collapsed back onto the carpet.
Telling: Sandy didn’t answer him, but continued to stare out of the window.
Showing: Sandy stared out the window.
Don’t try to tell what’s beginning, trying or failing to happen. We don’t need to know what didn’t happen. Show us what is happening now, in the moment.
One of the quickest ways to remove the reader from the story is to report what the character is feeling to the reader. Don’t do it. Don’t report character emotions.
Telling: Michelle looked sad.
What action was Michelle doing that led the point of view character to come to this conclusion? What can you show the reader instead?
Showing: Michelle looked away. She put on a fake smile and sighed.
Telling: Ryan felt sad.
What does it feel like to feel sad? What kind of sensations does Ryan feel?
Showing: Sorrow carved out an empty place in Ryan’s chest. He ached. His eyes stung with an onslaught of tears.
Get inside of your character and write what the emotions do to them. Don’t report emotions, let your reader experience them.
Are you wasting precious words describing what’s not happening instead of showing what is? Keep your reader immersed in the action. Rewrite to show what the character is actually experiencing.
Are you making sure that you let your readers experience what your main point of view character is feeling, seeing and hearing, or are you reporting to the reader that he/she is having an experience?
Don’t report emotions. Let your reader experience them and figure them out based on the actions of the character.
Trust your reader to figure it out.
Need editing or publishing help with your fiction story or memoir? I offer free consultation and personalized quotes. Let’s connect. Send me an email: griffinsmith74@gmail.com
